The wind.

Something is happening.

I got a call on my cell phone
from Marshall, a manager
of Atlanta Discount Music in Atlanta, GA.

He just wanted to let me know that he
appreciated my Fuck Guitar Center song,
and if I needed anything, strings, whatever,
to let him know.

Last night I got an email from a manager
of Cadence Music in Rochester, NY,
my hometown, no less, thanking me for the song,
telling me to stop by anytime we're in the area.

The best part for me,
is the video they are talking about
is from a live show in Blaine, MN.

It was halloween, and I'm dressed up
as a pink bunny rabbit.

You can see the video on Youtube.

I didn't take it, edit it, or post it up,
that was thanks to BRet Yager
of Yagervideo.com

He put it up there a week after Halloween,
and it already has 3,600 plays the last time
I looked.

Apparently it is starting to spread
around the independent music store
community, which is pretty cool.

Fight the power.

I think I''m going to write a song
about Wal-Mart next.

I watched a documentary about Wal-Mart,
and man, they really do suck.

-p

Happy Thanksgiving, Coppers...

So Kristen and I needed a ride to Michigan for Thanksgiving.

We have no car, anymore,
since the hit and run,
did I tell you about that?

Kristen's car got hit,
while parked,
no one was hurt,
but the car was totaled.

So we needed to get to Michigan,
and we had to get creative.

We tried the bus,
but the Megabus doesn't
run to that part of Michigan, (Grand Haven)
and Greyhound is for suckers.

So we tried the train,
and found a perfect train,
that ran at the right time,
to the right place,
and back again,
and was perfectly sold out.

Damn.

So we had to get really creative.

There's only one place to turn
when you need an unusual
and very specific request
in a hurry.

Craigslist.

Kristen had the balls and brains to do it,
put an ad looking for a ride.

She did,
and it worked.

We hitched a ride
with a couple from Minneapolis.

Coming through Chicago on their
way to Grand Haven.

Who'd have thought it was possible.

You might be thinking,
how can you trust some strange couple?

Well, there were a couple different variables.

The first was Minneapolis,
they make cool people there,
trustworthy people.

Like Garrison Keillor,
you'd take a ride from Garrison Keiller,
wouldn't you?

He'd tell such nice soothing stories...

The second factor of trust was
their two wiener dog puppies.

No crazy killers carry around
two wiener dog puppies,
that's just ridiculous.

Dachshunds are not for the violent,
that is an opinion I try to stand behind.

So here we are,
Kristen and me,
couple from Minneapolis,
and another couple from Chicago
that they picked up,
with another dog.

It was a minivan with
six strangers, two wiener pups,
and a golden retriever of some sort.

Adorable, no?

The ride was smooth,
we played word games
and chatted like strangers do.

We were ten minutes from getting dropped off.

The owner of the car,
let's call him Tom,
said to the driver,
let's call her Sally,
"be careful on this road,
there's a lot of cops."

I looked at Kristen, knowingly,
there were a lot of fucking cops on this road.

Twas the night before thanksgiving,
when cops were all over the place.

Sure enough,
the lights came a'flashing.

We got pulled over,
doing 72 in a 55.

Ouchers.

Tom, the owner of the car,
handed his insurance and
registration, while his girlfriend,
Sally, handed her license.

No big deal,
pain in the ass,
but no big deal.

The kindly Sheriff,
whom I believe had chew in his mouth,
said he'd be back in a few minutes.

My favorite moment so far,
was when he shined the flashlight
into the car, to see 3 boys, 3 girls,
one golden retriever, and two squirmy
little wieners.

Adorable.

A few minutes passed.

And a few more.

And a few more...

Finally,
the Sheriff comes to the other side,
Tom's side, and says,

"Tom, I'm going to need you to step out of the vehicle."

Oh my god!

He's a fucking convicted felon!

He's a murderer,
he's wanted in ten states,
him and his crazy girlfriend
are like Woody Harrelson
and that other crazy bitch.

They were just waiting to take
us to some special part of Grand Haven
to boil us alive and let their wieners eat
our flesh.

No.

He had a parking ticket from Muskegon, Michigan,
from Nineteen Ninety fucking Eight,
and they had issued a warrant for his arrest.

A PArking Ticket?

From 1998?

And you need to arrest him?

What the hell is the matter with you?

It's the night before thanksgiving,
we are young, and cute,
and we have puppies, and we're
sober, and we're white...
we obviously aren't doing anything wrong...

Don't you have anything better to do,
than track down that damn parking violation
from the last century?

Isn't there some real crime going on,
maybe some drunk driver going 80
through a red light?

Didn't you see how cute these fucking dogs are?

He didn't get arrested,
he was allowed to pay $86,
in cash only, in a very shady
business deal with the Sheriff.

I was nervous, so I called my Dad,
he's a lawyer in New York.

"Hey, Dad? Yeah... it's me, Peter.
Look, I'm sorry to wake you... but I'm in a car
with two strangers, actually, four strangers,
and we just got pulled over, and the guy's
about to get arrested.... and... what? oh no,
I don't know him at all... Craigslist... yeah,
Craigslist... Really? Oh, it's awesome,
you can get all kinds of stuff... real cheap!"

Tom paid the Sheriff $86 in cash.
That was a bond to get him to show up
in court in Muskegon, on December 5,
from Minneapolis, to settle a ticket
from 1998.

It took about an hour and a half to get the mess sorted out.

Fucking cops.

-p

mega awesome

Yesterday I took the Megabus to St Louis.

If you've never taken the Megabus,
you've gotta do it as soon as possible.

I recommend St Louis,
it's nice.

The Megabus is a direct, fast,
clean, nice, half empty bus
that takes you from Chicago to
a couple of other cities.

As the charming black lady
sitting across from me explained,
you have to own a
credit card to get a ticket.

That weeds out a certain
variable of passengers that you're
bound to encounter on a Greyhound bus.

Greyhound buses are terrible.
They smell weird,
and someone is always
eating McDonalds or
playing Jay Z really loud on headphones.

The Megabus was awesome,
it cost me forty five dollars
to get to St Louis in five hours flat.

I went to St Louis to play a small concert
for Matt Nelson's birthday.

Matt lives in St Louis,
he's in med school,
and his wife, who hired me,
is a lawyer.

It worked out.

I felt bad today,
because I know that
I gave Matt a final shot of Tequila.

I didn't buy it for him,
I don't think I would ever
buy a shot for anyone.

Shots might be as terrible
as the Greyhound bus.

They smell the same, at least.

I gave Matt the shot,
because someone gave it to me,
and I announced at the beginning of the show,
that we were in the band together for the night,
and I would do a shot every time
someone brought one up for him, and vice versa.

It was a clever way to get free shots.

There were two shots of Tequila
sitting near the microphone.

And I grabbed one,
and handed one to Matt.

I saw it in his face,
that unmistakable look
of impending vomit.

Tequila, in a plastic cup.

yum yums.

Matt made a sudden exit
from his birthday party not
twenty minutes later.

I'm sorry about the shot, Matt,
but it was a fun party.

I'm not taking the bus back home,
I caught a ride with Matt's sister and her boyfriend.

I was going to take some Valium
that I got from a girl at work.

When she heard I was taking a bus trip,
she insisted I take it.

It's nice.

I'm in the car,
a Subaru, no less,
and I just ate a delicious Subway sandwich,
and I feel like I just got home
from a dental procedure,
but without all that troublesome mouth pain.

Someone at the party told me Valium
makes people babble,
I think maybe it does.

I scribbled some lyric and song ideas in a book:

Water coolers,
the yellow and red kind,
have never, ever been washed.

What do you
call the middle,
of a duck duck duck duck
goose game?

I love Mexican People.

Well, we've all got out addictions,
she's a knitter,
I smoke weed.

It's like writing in dust
on the trunk of a Cadillac.

Everyone should write
at least one song.

Valium is cooler
than I thought it would be.

-p

Coffee

Dear Panera Bread,

I love you.

I love your sandwiches,
and your free-range chicken,
I love the old lady sitting
across from me picking sunflower
seeds out of her salad.

I love your counter-girls,
they are always so pretty,
and stuck in that deceptive
age group that makes me wonder
if I am being creepy when I check them out.

Your free wireless internet is allowing
me to keep up with the world,
while enjoying a hazelnut blend,
and daydreaming out the window.

I am in Springfield, IL.

I played a solo show
at Thirsty's Playground last night.

I want to thank everyone in the audience
for making it a great show and making me feel welcome.

This afternoon I have another solo gig
in Bloomington/Normal,
and then it's a rush to Chicago
for the Cubby Set at eleven.

And then,
it's breaktime.

No more official shows until March 2007.
I can tell you,
we've got some little things planned,
one show in December,
and one in January,
just to stay fresh.
but nothing major.

I'm back to work at Vong's Thai Kitchen downtown.
I'm the daytime bartender.

It's weird to be back at a job,
but it'll be a nice change of pace.

I've gotten some emails from people
telling me not to stop for good.

I'm not stopping,
if anything,
I'll be more productive,
and get some bigger tours going.

Maybe travel beyond southern Illinois?

I've got some new songs cooking,
My Grandma
Pez Dispenser Collection
Bald Guy
Dirty Sanchez and the International
Brotherhood of the Donkey Punch

We'll see what happens.

-p