A Letter to my glass of Vodka with Olive Juice

Dear Glass of Vodka with some Olive Juice,

The last time you and I hung out,
I was miserable.

I remember it pretty clearly,
considering the circumstances.

I was 25 years old.

I had just broken up
with a girlfriend of 2 years.

I was a mess.

I started drinking you
every night for a week,
until I passed out in my blue jeans.

It seemed to help at the time.

It got me through the breakup,
if you consider getting back together
getting through a breakup.

.

Tonight, we meet again,
after so many years.

I was out on my new balcony,
in my new apartment,
in a new city.

Same old Vodka with Olive Juice.

but this time,
I was happy.

I was almost giggling.

I'm doing well,
vodka.

I'm not sure what I'm doing,
and I get depressed sometimes
when I listen to my itunes
late at night all drunk and stoned.

Cause usually at that time
I go back and listen to all the
tracks I used to make,
and I wonder where I've
really gone from when I started.

In Chicago, where I was,
for...holy shit... 8 years?

that can't be right.

maybe seven years.

And I listen to tracks
and demos and silly little
songs I've written to girls
named Jessica and Kristen
and Shannon and Sarah Palin.

I used to write songs all the time
about people who I found who
I thought might be able to help me.

Jessica was the booking agent
at a college agency in Buffalo,
Kristen used to run a talent show
in New York City, now she plays
the crazy female fan on Flight of the Conchords.

Shannon was this girl
I met an open mic and
knew that I could be in love with,
but it wouldn't work out,
so I wrote a song about that.

I gave it to her,
she never really talked to me again.

weird.

So why am I telling you all this?

Because I drank you,
and that's what you do to me.

It's like the perfume of the girl
you dated in highschool.

You smell it,
it takes you back,
and then you look
around at where you are now.

And you're either happy,
or totally depressed.

tonight,
I'm happy.

Because, yes,
I made all those songs,
and I don't know if I can
make any that are as good,
or not.

But,
at least I made them.

and this one I'm listening to now,
I just recorded yesterday.

-p

A letter to my mom

Dear Mom,

I'm doing fine.
I'm just finishing up an entry
to the NORML video ad contest.

grand prize is $3,500.

I wrote a song
using all the statistics about
money spent on arrests and stuff,
and compared it to other things
you could buy with it.

I don't have internet at my apartment yet,
but I do have a very nice balcony.

I'm at a kinko's down the street from my house.

there's a little kid who is screaming a lot.

I think he's retarded.

The brakes on my car wore down,
it was wearing metal against metal.

I had to get them replaced
and it cost $250, which was rough.

But now I have shiny new brakes,
and I might have $3,500,
and that would be awesome.

I'd pay off some credit cards,
go out to dinner,
and get a prescription for marijuana.

You can do that here, it's crazy.

I had to turn on the air conditioning
in my car this morning.

-p