UK Tour 2008 Part 1

Ah...

Oldham.

It's a small town,
one that people have warned me about.

"watch out for OIdham...
nothing but thieves...."

Nonsense.

they are delightful people.

It was a fun show,
a drunken, crazy,
happy little show.

At the end,
I played an encore,
and a huge group of people
came up onstage behind me.

It was strange,
made stranger still
by the fact that someone
kept poking me in the ass.

I got pinched once,
but that was by a seemingly
gay little Indian boy.

He was nice, and harmless enough.

I think the poking,
the very aggressive
poking, was from the girl
behind me.

Nice enough.

They stayed and stammered
drunkenly onstage while
I led them through a final song.

And then...
I went to grab my CDs,
to sell them to the crowd,
and they were gone.

Someone,
or some people,
stole my CDs
from the stage.

Ah...
Oldham.

I came back onto
the microphone,
and said something to
the effect of....

"um.... somebody stole my CDs,
if it was you... just put them back,
no hard feelings"

One guy came up and gave me money,
he thought they were free.... very nice of him.

A few more people just gave me some
money because they felt bad.

They're not all bad in Oldham,
and I'll be back.

Just let me grab my fancy new
email list clipboard on the way out...
yup... this one with the shiny
new pen, I bought one of those
pens on the metal chains...
looks very pro...
okay.. here we go...

wait a minute.

what the fuck?

They stole my fucking pen,
off of the chain.

you must be joking.

-p