Nostradamus was a milf hunter.

I was driving to Walgreens today to pick up some new
hair goop and a toothbrush. They only sell my hair goop
at this one Walgreens in the middle of Beverly Hills.

Funny, because it's some of the cheapest goop on the market.

On the way, the radio was tuned to NPR,
cause I roll like that.

NPR was holding a debate, a discussion,
a serious conversation, about Sarah Palin
being a strong candidate for President in 2012.

That's the year the world is supposed to end, right?

Okay, yeah... she'll probably win.

-p

tee hee hee

The funniest Nice Peter photo in the world

I don't mean to brag,
but this is my favorite photo ever.

There's a nice, long, juicy story to go with it,
but that will have to wait for another day.

In the meantime, without further ado,
I present to you, the funniest Nice Peter photo ever:

Something's gotta give

I've been living in a basement in Chicago
curled up next to a drum set.

It's amazing.

I stay up late,
I wake up late,
there's no sunlight down here
so it all feels the same.

I went on a four day tour with my old band,
we played two awesome shows,
and then there was Green Bay.

I swore I'd never go back to that
god forsaken town years ago.

Pauly talked me into it.

It's not his fault, I was having trouble
finding another show for that date anyway.

The good part is,
I have footage of the three of us
dressed up in a full body camouflage - Donehoo
a karate uniform - Pauly
and an adult size set of red footie pajamas.

-me.

The audience didn't even giggle,
I thought it was hilarious.

We came back for our fiftieth set
of our 4 hour night of music,
stoned out of our heads,
at least I was,
and marched into the bar in those costumes.

I thought the place would burst into laughter.

not even a chuckle.

I looked around,
there was a guy sitting at the bar,
wearing an actual full body camouflage suit.

maybe they didn't think they were costumes at all.

Bret Yager got the whole thing on video,
and then he got me, relatively drunk and high,
lipsinc-ing Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror,
in my red footie pajamas, while playing a giant
upright bass neck connected to a metal garbage can.

It's this weird instrument they have on the stage in Green Bay.

I sang the whole song,
started walking around the bar,
singing the whole song,
grinding on people who were not the least bit amused,
and then I went out onto the street,
and started thumping on the bass-garbage can
about being in Green Bay.

I think it will make for some excellent video.

Pauly was upset because no one videotaped him
on the other side of the bar standing outside in his underwear.

you can't get it all.

We made the long drive to St Paul,
I slept most of the way, so we didn't get too much exciting footage.

But the concert in St Paul was one of my favorites in a long time,
and we got all of that.

I'm very excited to see how it turns out.

oh!

and I found the best name for the DVD,
I think it's going to be called:
Nice Peter - maximum capacity 75.

It pretty much sums up the feel of the mini tour,
and it was a hilarious sign right next to my poster in Green Bay.

You know you've hit the big time when your maximum audience is 75.

Thanks to Pauly and Donehoo and Bret for the laughs and shows and
hard work.

and thanks to you for coming out to see shows.

It means more to me than you probably think.

Even you guys in Green Bay,
cool dude who wants to come to England
and bought us Mandarin bombs,
awesome dudes who came to Neenah and Green Bay,
and everyone else who was there on purpose and friendly,
thanks.

I've been pretty hard on your town,
don't take it personally.

you're welcome to come visit me in this basement while I'm here.

-p

Travels

What a week it's been.

Let's see,
last Tuesday I woke up,
had a meeting with Break.com
about working with them on making funny videos.

awesome.

Then we hit the road for Oroville, CA,
where I had a gig on Wednesday at a Casino.

Right before we went out the door,
I stopped to check if there were any open mics
in San Francisco or San Diego.

I needed somewhere to stop on the way to Oroville,
which is not the kind of place you want to spend two nights in.

I found one in San Fran, at a hostel called the Green Tortoise.

It's in a dodgy part of town full of strip clubs and bars,

awesome.

We drove all day through the mountains,
ate at Carl's Jr, hit San Fran,
went out drinking, hard, found a blues band
playing at the diviest dive bar I've ever seen.

all they served was Busch on tap.

The blues band is called the Powell Street Blues Band,
fronted by a tiny Japanese woman who actually goes by the name, Yoko.

She played slide guitar and howled,
the homeless guy who was tending bar
gave us lots of free drinks,
we stumbled back the hostel,
which has a party room full of European people.

I jammed on the piano with some new German friends me made,
and we partied until the wee hours.

The next morning it was up early to hit Oroville,
I played my show, hung out with Comedian Shaun Jones,
gambled a bit, smoked some weed with the new homies from
Sacramento out in the parking lot,

then it was time to enjoy the pimped out complimentary hotel suite
with the huge bathtub.

awesome.

The next morning,
we had to wake up early as hell to drop
off Comedian Shaun Jones at the airport,
and I hassled him the whole way for advice.

We had a nine hour drive back to LA,
so we stopped for a nap at some mountain top
vista point, and we stopped for lunch in Lodi, CA.

Lodi is the town from the Creedance song,
"oh lord.... stuck in Lodi again"

and it was cool to see.
We had an awesome lunch,
and hit the road again.

By the time we got back to LA,
it was time to pack, sleep for a few hours,
and then wake up and hit the airport for Chicago.

I had a layover in Salt Lake City, Utah.

I almost missed my flight,
I was running down the hallways
with my guitar in hand.

I was jogging alongside one of those people movers,
the little golf carts that take people around the airport.

An old dude in the back saw my NORML sticket on
my guitar case. (national organization for the reform of marijuana
laws)

He said, "alright, man... NORML.... cool....!"

I thought to myself,
"yeah thanks, old dude, I've got a plane to catch"

"how did you get that sticker, man?"

"oh... um... I wrote a song for a contest of theirs"

"cooollll, man... did you win?"

"yeah, they paid me a thousand bucks, it was great"

still thinking to myself, leave me alone, old man,
I'd love to talk to you, but I'm going to miss my flight.

At that moment I looked right at him for the first time.

slowly, it dawned on me.

I was chatting with Tommy Chong.

as in, Cheech, and Chong.

I stopped in my tracks,
he said something like,
"take it easy.. man"

and I said,
"wow, thanks!"

And that was that.

My flight to Chicago was late,
so I landed at Ohare,
jumped on the Blue Line,
got picked up by Donehoo (the drummer)
and we stopped at Black Rock in Roscoe village
to meet some friends and grab a beer.

quickly!

We grabbed Pauly (bass player)
hopped in the van, and hit the road
for Berwyn, a south suburb.

We got to the club, which had been transformed
from a tiny, little, spooky Cigar Store/ Bar
into a giant, spooky, circus tent out in the parking lot.

There was a decent crowd,
we had about ten minutes to set up and play,
amongst the bed of nails and the creepy dolls
from the freak show the night before.

We did our set, had some fun,
drank some beers, ate some stomach churning nachos,
smoked some weed with skydivers out in a huge truck,
packed up, and went home.

whew.

This week, I've been practicing and writing with
Pauly and Donehoo to get ready for a small tour.

We hired our friend, Bret Yager,
to come along and video tape out journeys and adventures.

We're going to put out a full length DVD of the Nice Peter touring
experience.

And next week, we're off to Michigan to record a new album.

I'll try to post updates as much as possible,
and when I can, I'll stream our practices and misadventures
online, just for you voyeurs out there.

much love from Chicago,

-p

"Japanese People are Weird" Reaches Out

Hi.

One afternoon,
I made a slide show out
of some funny pictures my roommate
found on the internet.

I sat down with my guitar
and my portable recorder,
and I made up a song about the pictures
as they scrolled along.

I liked the way it turned out,
so I posted it on some websites.

Break.com featured it,
and next thing I know,
it takes off on a small scale for a few days.

Cool.

The coolest part so far?

One of the people in the video
saw themselves and wrote me an email!

here it is, this guy has an awesomely strong sense of humor.

actually, before you read it, you should make sure you watch the video.

The subject line was :

"I was the honor student from Castle Greyskull middle school."
----------------------------
and yes indeed, i attended castle greyskull middle school and
graduated valedictorian, though sadly, during a heated campaign
against us, led by none other than Shemale-Ra, I was unable to
continue my higher education as our entire faculty had been put to
death during the war between Blu-Ray and Hi-Def discs. With Sony
refusing to lose the tek-wars a 2nd time (i.e. Beta vs. VHS), they
did indeed amass weapons of mass consumerism and... um... i digress.
I just wanted to say hey and thanks fer "borrowing" my photo from
somewhere out there (i never saw that particular shot before). I
liked yer lyric too. funny. Ironically a friend of mine was wasting
time on break.com and was just about to shut off yer "japanese people
are weird" song when he unknowingly came across my pic, taken at the
annual San Francisco Big Wheel Rally. He gave me the shout out and
ive been sharing your song with a bunch of friends & family... thanks
again. I'll keep checking back on yer tour dates, as i would love to
catch a live show (don't fret... i'm a fan now).

later

The Honor Student at Castle Greyskull Middle School

------------------

That made me soooo happy.

-p