Tour Diary Part 5

I know what you're thinking.

Actually,
that's not true,
but I know what I would
be thinking if I was reading
this after reading parts one through four.

Where is he?
and what's the name
of the animal on his couch?

I didn't want to start this one that way.

But, for the record,
I'm on a couch in Boston,
and the dog's name is Zoe,
but she's sleeping in the other room.

She likes to lick your hair
when you get out of the shower.
It's sweet but kind of weird.

I wanted to start this one
by thanking all the people
that are allowing me to
live on their couches.

I've only gotten one hotel
in 9 days out, and that
was an extreme circumstance.

I don't plan on getting many more,
maybe one or two,
to keep the spirits fresh
and the pipes clean.

I'm also living off people's
good graces, thus far.

I have not gotten paid by
any venues.

I've gotten some money
from cover charges,
and from the tip box,
and from selling stuff.

And I'm surviving.

So, thank you,
everybody,
but most of all,
you.

I'm not even starving,
I had swordfish for lunch today.
(my friend paid for it)

All told,
this is the fucking life.

I drive around,
meet interesting people,
catch up with old friends
I haven't seen in years,
play.... moderately decent shows,
and move on.

Moderately decent.
none of the shows
have really been ground breaking.

Maybe I've just seen it too much.

whatever.

I'm working on some
new songs, but its
hard to work them into
the set.

If you see me,
and you want to hear something new,
yell it out. "play something brand new!"

I probably will.

Tough part is,
I've been writing
sad songs and love songs.
and one about text messaging.

besides the text messaging,
it's hard to work them into the set.

whatever.

I'm off to Philadelphia tomorrow.

I've never been there,
wish me luck.

-p

PS
I saw an old man serving
pizza at a rest stop in Massachusetts,
and he was wayyyyy too old,
and it was very sad to watch
him struggle with pizza.

PPS
I saw my grandma in Rochester,
and she's awesome, and I played
White Trash Woman for her.
and she danced.
and she's ninety two.
but don't tell her I told you that.

PPPS
I forgot to shower for
two days and I thought
Boston smelled funny.

It didn't.
I did.

PPPPPS
I've got lots of little stories
like these, it's just hard to
remember them all
in my weird little themed
blog posts.

PPPPPPPS
heeeeere Zoeeeee....
good girl.
now let's go to couch,
I mean bed,
I mean, home.

--------------------

T-9
saves you time

when you text me,
to tell me that you love me

say you want to see me,
probably just to fuck me.

just send the time
and I'll be there.

and if I'm running late
I'll text you quick
to let you know... oh...

I ask you if you'll spend the night
with OD
I mean OF
I mean ME

You say you just wanna
have SEW
I mean have PEW
I mean have SEX yeah....

cmon, let's get it on
look out baby I'm on my way,
and when I'm downstairs,
I'll text you that I'm downstairs,
with a smiley face...

ugh.

T-9
saves me time

when I text you,
to tell you that I miss you.

I ask you if you're hungry,
but I really want to kiss you.

but please don't call
cause I can't answer

I'm out with another girl right now,
and that would just be rude.. ooo...

oh, let's get it on,
look out baby cause here I come
all the things I'm gonna do to you,
just look how fast I can move my thumbs.

T-9
I wish I didn't have to spell "fuck" out
but it's cool

T-9
you make me LOL
with all the crazy SHIV
that you do

T-9
it's saves me time
so I can spend more time with you

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