What, is, your, dilemma?

You had a fake poopy mustache.

What was I supposed to do?

You were dressed up as
a Dirty Sanchez for Halloween,
and you had a fake poopy mustache
made out of chocolate.

And then,
when I said I needed
to find a store nearby,
to adhere my own
mustache to my face, properly,
you gave me a ride on your Vespa.

And I know,
it wasn't a Vespa,
it was called something else,
but it was one of those little
motorcycle scooter things
and it made me feel Italian.

I have never been on a motorcycle,
my mom told me they're dangerous,
when I was young enough to listen,
and I believed her.

So here is you,
this incredible attractive
girl who told me point blank
that you liked me.

And here is me,
a schmuck on the back
of a Vespa holding onto
an incredibly attractive girl
with a fake poopy mustache.

Have you met me?

Have you ever heard what I sing about,
sometimes?

Of course I was taken by you.

You're unbelievable.

And I had to kiss you,
I just had to.

You had a fucking
poopy mustache made
of chocolate.

hilarious.

now my fake
mustache smells like chocolate.

And I've been on a Vespa,
that's not really a Vespa.

And my mouth is much
smaller than yours,
I kinda have a little girl's
mouth, but you're one hell
of a kisser, and I'm sure we
could have figured it out.

But when you dropped me off
at Pauly's party,
I kept going,
and didn't look back.

I just had to dance.

Actually,
I pranced around
really awkward,
cause you kind of make
me nervous,
but eventually,

I just had to dance.

So I'm sorry
I didn't call you back
a long time ago,
and I'm sorry
I couldn't go cuddle
up to you and warm
up after freezing my
little girl's mouth off
on your Vespa.

But my life is really
complicated,
so I did all that I could,
and I hope it was cool.

Because now my fake mustache,
will always smell like your
fake mustache.

I'm glad it was chocolate,
and not real poop.

-p