rebuttles

jesus, is that how you spell that word?

it can't be.

anyhow,

I'm writing this to express a response

to a comment I found in my inbox.

it is:

--------------------

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Midwest Tour Diary #3": 

i'm so confused by the Q101 thing. I was there that night. i like you and the Q101 DJs. i didn't realize you were seriously offended. it seems like you can make jokes but not take them. sorry. just don't be so sensitive. keep rockin!

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I'd like to respond to you, Anonymous.

First off, I love you.

That little "keep rockin!"

at the end of your comment was the

sweetest, coolest way you could have possibly

ended your self expression.

for real.

If you don't know the story behind this story,

please go back and read that Midwest Tour Diary #3 article,

it should shed light.

My response is this:

I am sensitive.

I don't know when I started making

fun of people as much as I do now,

but to tell the truth, sometimes I hate it.

I don't like making people feel uncomfortable,

but I am a sucker for the crowd, and sometimes

that is all that they will eat up, and like a drunk

self conscious fat guy at a party, I take my shirt off

and let people laugh at the shortcomings.

It's a slip, a weakness, a crutch, and something

I am trying to whittle down to a minimum.

However,

I can take a joke.

I can take jokes all day long.

I try to make fun of myself as much

as the audience, and I am fully ready

to be honest about any of my own numerous shortcomings.

What bothered me about the Q101 guys,

and I wish you could have seen closely the look

of exasperation on my face, was that they forced me

to do what I did next.

They called me out in front of my home town friends,

and I had to live up to my own weird reputation.

They made themselves the bad guy,

and they weren't funny enough about it.

I was compelled by a case history.

Nice Peter does not take shit from anyone

who resembles anyone who is "the man"

It's stupid, shallow, outdated, corny, and counter-productive.

But sometimes it's all I've got.

And some people who come to see me

expect that I will do something to shock them,

so what else am I supposed to do?

And at the risk of repeating myself,

I don't need two jerks from the biggest

rock station in my old beloved home town

to remind me that they have no idea who I am.

That shit hurts,

and in fact, it is the only thing that hurts me.

Indifference.

I came back to Chicago to feel good,

to play in front of people that make me feel good,

and in turn, I hope I make them feel good.

That one moment before going out onstage

is a big one, it stands still, it is a rush of joy

like waiting for a lover to get off an airplane

after a long trip overseas.

Those two Q101 guys soiled that moment

with their snide little comment of indifference.

But,

I must be honest with you,

I am taking your comment to heart,

and I am also taking my own experience to heart.

I wonder how many other people's

nights I have ruined by making some snide

little comment during my show, when they

were just innocently trying to have a drink at a bar

that I happened to be playing at.

I don't think I'm getting meaner on the inside,

I'm just getting a little quicker on the outside,

and maybe, just maybe, a little lazier.

It's a lot easier to get laughs by making

fun of someone, but does that just make

me a bully with a microphone and a very

in depth knowledge of three chord progressions?

Perhaps.

Anyway you slice it,

I appreciate your comment, Anonymous,

and I will keep thinking about it.

I've been wanting to chill out on the

"picking on people" bits for a while now,

I'm getting a little tired of being mean.

Thank you for your thoughtful comment,

you dickless little chicken shit.

-p