Kitty

Have I told you about my cat?

I think I told you that I got one,
he's very... um.... strange.

First of all,
he likes to come into
the shower with me.

My bathroom door doesn't lock,
and he knows how to get in,
and every once in a while,
he will come jump up on the shower
ledge, and meow.

He wants to be picked up,
and held under the water.

I think that's pretty unusual for a cat,
but it keeps him from smelling like poop.

I started when my roommate
decided he needed a bath,
so she held him under the shower
with her, and apparently he's hooked.

He also likes to kiss,
he'll actually put his little
kitty lips up to yours
and give you a little kiss.

It's adorable.

Now, I know what you might
be thinking,
showering and making out
with a cat, that's just weird.

But it's so cute,
you'd do it, too.

Right now he's
locked in the closet,
because otherwise
he'd be jumping on
my keyboard while I try
to type.

Let's see....

What else?

Well,
in other news,
I think i'm getting meaner.

In shows lately,
I've really been
making fun of
people pretty hard.

the audience seems to love it,
and I'm cracking myself right up,
but every once in a while I feel a little bad.

Last week at Durty Nellies,
I.... well....here's some highlights:

(to the girl in the way too short black dress)
"you look like you just came from a slutty funeral"

(to the guy in the pale, pastel, green shirt)
"I'm sorry, I can't take requests from anyone
dressed like a marshmallow from Lucky Charms"

(to the guy in the way too tight, way too
stone washed jeans)
"hey... dude on the cell phone,
my Russian exchange student
from high school wants his pants back"

(to the man at the Skydiving concert in the fanny pack)
"I know that dude smokes weed, how else can you
possibly explain a fanny pack? Unless, he just feels
safer with a pouch, maybe he keeps a tiny parachute
in there just in case he trips and falls"

It's been mostly just making fun
of the way people are dressed,
which is hilarious to me,
because I wear the same
clothes every day, probably
to almost every show.

But, sometimes that's
all I have to go on.

All in all,
things are going well,
shows have been fun,
and life has been good,
and I'm getting....
a lot of pussy.

get it?

pussy?

it's a cat.

-p