Thursday

Hi.

I'm stoned..

I missed you.

I'm in St Paul,
I think,
maybe Minneapolis.

There's a cat here,
well... two,
but the other one
has been hiding all night.

I watched a show called Weeds,
have you seen it?

It made me want to keep smoking,
and it's awesome,
and the lady who stars in
it is hot, and 44.

I've been playing a lot lately,
and flying, and driving,
and sleeping on couches,
and meeting new cats,
and my brother's shitty friends.

I went out to LA,
that's where he lives,
alone, in an apartment
that's much different than mine.

He has a fifteen hundred dollar TV.

I have a fifteen dollar TV.

I'm not kidding.

Lately,
on it,
I've been watching
some vintage porn
and a show from Canada
called Trailer Park Boys.

I'm hoping to add Weeds
to that rotation.

I made new tshirts,
and I'm almost sold
out of my new album.

I'm playing new songs,
and I played in LA,
and I have money,
and four bags of chips,
and I've been getting laid,
and I also went to Seattle.

They have a ton of crack heads in Seattle.

A horde of crack heads crossed
the street in front of me.

Maybe twelve.

I'm not kidding.

In Seattle,
me and a guy named Chris
ate Chinese food at
the most authentic
Asian restaurant
I have ever seen.

And if you know me,
you know I've seen a lot of
funky, little, Asian restaurants.

This one had
pig intestines,
and sheep oviducts,
which I think means
fallopian tubes,
on the menu.

I am seriously not kidding.

I played in Madison,
and made up a song
called,
"Every Dude's Already
Fucked his Momma's Pussy"

It had four part harmonies.

It wasn't my fault.

I love my loop pedal.

My mom gave it to me.

That's how the song started,
I was telling the audience
how much I loved it,
and how much it would,
and probably does,
bother her to think
that I'm using it to
sing harmonies
over the most
awful lyrics
imaginable.

Then I said...

" ah... my mom....(smile)..."

then in an attempt to shift gears,
I said one of my standby words,
that is,
"fuck"

and it kind of took
off from there.

It really wasn't my fault,
the audience made me do it.

And it wasn't about my mom,
at least, not specifically.

Madison, Wisconsin
is full of sick fuckers.

But don't worry,
if you don't live in Madison,
I got the whole thing on tape.

I'm starting a new album,
it's called,
"My Friend's Nickname is Bitchface"
(Nice Peter's Greatest Improv Hits)

I'm going to record every show
from now until then end of England,
and edit out and mix down
the best improv bits from each show,
until I have some sort of album.

I named it that,
cause that was
the second song that happened.

In Neenah, Wisconsin.

Some dude's friend's nickname
was bitchface, and he wanted
me to sing about it.

The funniest part was
when another dude
came up all excited,
and said...

"dude!! ..... I'm bitchface!"

...

I'm not kidding.

-p