Perspective

I cut my fucking finger open
on a god damned can of tuna fish
the other day.

I mean, bad.

I was bleeding all over
my tuna fish,
and all over the floor,
and then all over the sink.

I was trying to pry the lid off,
and the jagged metal edge
ripped through my right index
fingertip.

I'd say.... about 3/8 of an inch deep.

that's fucking deep.

it left this cut that looked like a mouth,
a dangling flap of flesh.

At first, I was surprised,
because I was looking at this
huge cut, and it didn't hurt that much.

hmm...

weird.

wait...
I can't feel my fingertip at all.

My entire tip of my index finger was numb.

still is.

I sliced through the nerves, you see?

which left the nerve-end exposed.

it didn't hurt at all,
until my friend told me
to put pressure on it
to stop the bleeding.

I pressed down onto an exposed nerve,
and I fell down onto the kitchen floor.

I don't like to complain,
people experience so much more
pain than I did, I can't really say much.

But I can say,
that pressing an exposed
nerve is really, really, intense.

It got my mind thinking,
what about people who were tortured?

I actually asked out loud at work,
"can you imagine what it would have been like
to be tortured.?"

According to legend,
Kind Edward the II
was killed by inserting
a red hot piece of metal
into his rectum.

slowly.

I told that story at work,
everybody was freaked out,
except for Chulo, the Mexican dessert guy,
he really liked that one.

It's fun showing your finger wound
to the cooks in a restaurant.

They've got stories, cuts, scars,
and burns to be proud of.

But even they were shocked
when I showed them mine.

"dios mio! I could fit my cock in there...!"

there's a very homo-erotic style
of humor in a Mexican staffed kitchen.

So,
I had to go to the hospital,
eventually.
because two days later,
my finger was purple
and I still couldn't feel anything.

and I don't think I've had
a tetanus shot since Michael
Jackson was black.

The trip to the hospital
will probably cost me
four hundred dollars,
and I don't have insurance,
and I still can't feel my finger,
but, hey....

at least I wasn't the tuna.

-p