Medicine

While brushing my teeth at a rest stop North of
Mankato, Minnesota, I watched a dad bring his
six or seven year old son into the bathroom.

I smiled as dad made sure
the boy closed the stall door,
helped him get soap on his hands,
and dry them off under the blower.

I was standing off to the side,
right next to the colorful condom dispenser.

Before watching the dad and son,
I had spent some time eyeballing the selection.

The machine had Barebacks Extra-thin,
Ruff-Rider, Black Magic, and Magnum EXXTRA Strength potency pills.

Very eye-catching.

As the father and son turned to leave,
the son asked, "what are those, daddy?"

He wasn't asking about me and my toothbrush,
he was asking about the condom machine.

He knew, I knew he knew, and I'm pretty sure
his father knew that he knew something was up.

When I was a kid, I could smell a dirty word
on a dictionary page.

I could find a copy of Joy of Sex
in a friend's parent's library in two seconds flat.

Kids know when something is up,
they feel something naughty
in the air like a cat feels a bug
in the other room.

"what are those, daddy?"

really means,
"I know those are for something
that I'm not supposed to know about,
what is it?"

His father replied:

"I don't know, I think.... medicine?"

He said it like a little question.

After I dragged Kristen into the
men's room to see the machine,
she heard my impression of the father,
and said it sounded like another little kid.

We spent some time discussing the issue,
I asked the acne clad gas station attendant
what he thought, he showed me where I could
buy more condoms. (I don't think he quite got my point)

How would I answer such a question?

Well.... I'd like to think I'd be more honest.

Avoiding an issue is one thing.

Gas stations are not the best time for the birds and the bees.

Although, they can provide some good illustrations
of why you shouldn't have three kids by age 22.

But lying, flat out, to your son,
that bothers me a little.

Especially when you take the time
to make sure he washes his hands,
so as to not get any germs.

I've never heard of anyone catching
an STD from a doorknob.

You might say, "he's only seven."

True.

But, that's when shit is really starting
to solidify in his brain.

If condoms are made to be this mysterious
thing, hushed up and secret, they will most
likely remain fixed that way in this kid's mind.

I don't have kids, yet,
and I do have condoms to thank for that.

My parents were not particularly open
with me about sex.

They never lied to me,
we just didn't really talk about that kind of stuff.

Now look at me,
I sing about my balls for a living.

I don't know what I'd do if faced with this situation,
I'd be curious to hear from another parent
on this matter.

Please feel free to email a response
to: info@nicepeter.com

-p