one

11/26/05

Wow.

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten
boos on stage.

Leave it to good old St Paul, MN.
Now, let it be known, that the people
who came out to see the Nice Peter show,
all of you, were awesome and I thank you
from the bottom of my heart.

I would have gotten eaten alive if it hadn’t been for you.

And I have no beef with 30 Below.
Those guys are pretty cool,
and I’m sure some of their fans are really
nice people.

But a chunk, a slice, a sizable
amount of the 30 Below fans were
pieces of shit.

Cowardly pieces of shit at that.

All I try to do is make sure everyone
has a good time at a show.

I try to be flexible,
to cater to the audience a bit,
give them something they can enjoy.

But these guys weren’t having it.

And, instead of leaving,
or just moving to the back of the room,
they chose to speak up about it.

But, because they were cowards,
when I would stop and ask them what they
wanted to say, what was on their small mind...
they would shut up quick like they got caught talking
in class.

Pussies.
Big, beer drinking, Bush-loving,
gaping wide pussies.

I’d like to make a personal thanks to Amber,
who almost got into a fight on my behalf.
Thanks, Amber.

I was playing a song,
and a few guys in the audience
would shout, “you suck, fuck off, fuck you, etc.”
but only when I was singing.

As soon as they had the spotlight,
silence. So I had no chance to retort.

They didn’t like the Bush Song either.
And when one of them started telling
Tara to take her top off, I got pretty pissed.

I tried to chew him out, I think I might have
done a decent job, cause my peeps clapped,
but it still sucked.

Sorry, Minneapolis/St Paul,
I’ll find a better place/ better band to play with next time.

Once again, 30 Below, you guys are cool.
My fans sat through your set,
no matter what they thought or didn’t think,
they sat and they watched with some respect.

Your fans, at least a few of them,
fuck their own sisters,
and should learn how to brush
both of their remaining teeth,
so that not everything that comes
out of their mouths is shit.

11/19/05

So... I’m back.

Hi.

Nice to see you again.

It’s been awhile.

I’ve got loads of stories from England,
lots of them are on the message board,
and I’m sure I’ll be telling more.

You remember my friends, Elevation, the U2 cover band?
Of course you do.

Well, I posted this on their guestbook:
they have to approve all postings,
I wonder if they will have the balls to put it up.

Dear Elevation,
You have become the centerpiece, the focus, and the inspiration for my
music. Seeing your posters throughout Chicago, and all over the
Midwest, my determination to keep working grows ever stronger.

When the industry gets me down, all I have to do is look to Elevation,
and realize that no matter what, at least there is a group out there
that has the guts to pretend to be a successful band.

You are very talented, I hope that no matter what hardships you face,
no one ever forces you to give up and start peforming your own music.

Music is a difficult business, and you are an inspiration to all of us.
You remind us to keep working hard, until all the creativity is removed
from this great city, so that cutting edge music venues like Joe's on
Weed Street and the Cubby Bear can continue to keep the public safe
from dangerous new ideas.

with love,

-Nice Peter

10/29/05

This weekend reminded me why Minneapolis is one of my favorite cities
in the country.
The people are aweome. Happie, Tim, Ron, the hot bartender lady, and
the hot waitress lady, and the rest of the incredible crew at Fine
Line, make me feel like a rock star every time I show up. Thanks, guys.

The fans and friends who come out to the shows, they are so cool, I
can’t even explain. They’re smart, they get stuff, they know whats
going on.

And the newspaper there is sharp as a sharp stick.

Here’s some disturbing information I picked up from Minneapolis
newspapers:

Remember last quarter when we consumers were paying $3 a gallon for
gas, getting raped at the pumps, spending all our merch money on fuel?
From that same quarter Exxon reported a %75 increase in profits. That
means all the extra money we spent on gas because of the “shortage” and
“crisis” from the hurricane, went right into the pockets of the oil
company.

I’m not surprised, I just can’t believe that will go down with no
consequences.

Here’s another one:

The president of the largest health insurance company in Minnesota
brought home $124 million in 2004, up from $94 million in 2003. One
hundred and ninety four million fucking dollars! We, the people, can’t
afford insurance because we’re broke musicians.\ Can’t afford to get
our teeth fixed, or our bones healed, while some rich mother fucker is
making more money than he could possibly know what to do with.
According to the paper, if had made $19 million each year, still more
fucking money than anyone needs, there would be enough left over to
provide health insurance for each one of the 77 thousand uninsured
children in Minnesota.

Fucked.
Our country is fucked.

And we keep giving our money to HMOs, and oil companies, and cover
bands.

In good news, I met an awesome independent businessman named Bret
Yager. He runs YagerVideo.com, check it out, he does great video work
in Minneapolis.

Minneapolis, thank you for being so cool. I’ll see y’all in November.

10/26/05
Maybe I came down a little hard on cover bands.

Don’t get me wrong, they still suck,
but I don’t need to rub it in their face.

Things just get frustrating sometimes, you know?

But, some days, things seem alright.
Like today.

I talked to a nice guy in London, and a nice guy in Indiana,
and they’re both going to help me out.

I’m playing three open mics in London.
That’s probably going to be my favorite part,
I love open mics, they give me a buzz.

My mother gave me some money for my trip to the UK,

I’d like to take this oppurtunity to thank her without any swear words:
thanks, mom.

10/24/05
Cover bands suck ass.

Every single one of them is waste of time and musical space.

If you’re in a cover band, I hate to be the one to say it, but you suck.

That is not to say that bands that play covers are bad.
The Beatles played covers, blues bands play covers,
I play covers, it’s okay to play some covers in your three hour set.

I’m talking about a whole band built around covers.
If you’re in a band like that, you should stop playing,
and you should become a dentist.

The only thing worse than a generic cover band, ala 80’s,
or hardrock, or funk, is a specific cover band with a zippy name.

The one that really gets me is Elevation, the U2 cover band.
Man, do these guys blow. I hope they find my site through
a search engine sometime when you’re checking to see what kind
of reviews they get.

Elevation U2 Cover band - Elevation U2 cover band - Elevation U2 cover
band,
maybe that will get me into Google.

Catfight, you also suck. I heard your guitar player quit to make real
music, that’s good, because you’re all pretty talented, you just make
terrible choices.

Mike and Joe, I’ve heard one of your original songs, and its really
good.
Stop sucking dick to make money and grind it out like real men.

Hairbanger’s Ball, you guys are kind of awesome, but you still suck on
principal.

Why doesn’t anyone realize...? if everybody has to keep playing covers
to make a living, there won’t be any new songs to cover....

So, to all the dumb bitches in Green Bay who ask for Radio Head, to all
the sluts in Wrigleyville who insist on hearing Brown Eyed Girl, and to
the homos in Elevation, the U2 Cover band, you all suck ass.

10/14/05

Holy.

shit.

That was a long time to go with no internet at my house.

Today was a very exciting day.

A Russian, or Polish, or some kind of European man,
who said he only drinks milk and water, came to my apartment
to hook up the cable internet.

We ended up out on the roof together, under the Brown Line stop,
throwing cables and breaking into the weird abandoned lot next door.

He was very nice.

And so is cable internet.

I had been forced to
go to Kinkos and a place
called Spinz to use a computer.

Some good developments.

Taxes from 2003 got done, and mailed tomorrow.
New fan from Shanghai joined the email list.

I wrote him to ask if he’s really from Shanghai,
he says ”yes”.

In other markets,
a dude from France bought
a CD and t-shirt.

International sales are up %200
this year.

to two.

Our good friend Dumpstin is going to take over the Message Board.
Pimp it out, be the bull goose moderator, we’re hoping to develop
a nice, happy place where people can exchange Salvia stories and
Lasagna recipes.

And hopefully Popsi and TBW will tell us whats new in wrestling, music,
and shady women.

Excellent.

9/25/05
All together,
a pretty awesome weekend in Michigan.

I have lots of pictures and videos,
I’ll get them up this week.

Special thanks to Brandon Goy,
and all the motherfuckers at Scorekeepers,
including the motherfuckerettes,
Ms. Stefanie and Ms. Jessica.

Also much love to Chopper
and Mike and the gang at Napoleon
Skydiving Center. I got to jump out of an airplane
again today, and it really kicked a lot of ass.

I’ll tell you more later...
I’m tired and gotta watch the Godfather.

9/12/05

I wonder, has anyone out there ever tried a drug called Salvia?

It’s a legal herb, you smoke it or chew it, and man, does it knock you
out.

I’ve taken my fair share of hallucinogens, and nothing could prepare me
for
the trip that was Salvia.

The whole world changed shape, everything was weird and crazy, and then
five minutes later, back to normal.

That’s kinda what it was like in Springfield, IL this weekend. The
whole world went crazy, and then I left Springfield.

It is one crazy town, existing in limbo between a big city and a small
town. You find a whole mix of people. I saw a gay black man, and a guy
with a confederate flag on his jeans jacket, drinking at the same bar.

The bar, of course, was Marly’s Pub. They gave me lots of money and a
furnished apartment to stay in. The apartment had cable, even my
apartment doesn’t have cable! It also had OnDemand Video, and I got
drunk and ordered a porno, don’t tell anybody.

I had to do it, Springfield is full of hot chicks that I can’t touch.
This one girl’s boob popped out at the after hours bar and she didn’t
seem to even notice. We were talking, and I said “ holy shit, that’s
your boob” and she just said “ what... oh...anyway..”

I saw four boobs on three different girls this weekend. One was kind
enough to press them against the window. Lovely.

I’ll be back in Springfield, it looks like the weekend of October 21,
I’ll keep you posted.

You can pick up Salvia at most head shops, or order it online. It’s no
joke, make sure someone is watching you who is sober, the pamphlet that
came with the herb calls them a “sitter” and they are very necessary. I
thought Paul McCartney was telling me to split my couch in half, crazy
shit.

9/4/05

Another weekend,
another car rental,
another pair of shows.

I played in Columbus, Ohio
on Friday. I think all four people
in the audience had a really good time.

I love Columbus, and I love Ruby Tuesdays,
and I didn't mind playing to a small crowd,
because they were fun, and they gave me all they
had, and I gave them all I had.

I think it was like two really unattractive people
having sex, we just had to make up for our
shortcomings with enthusiasm.

Columbus also has some of the dankest weed
I've ever found, so that makes it a little easier too.

Saturday found me driving to Indianapolis
with a hangover and a smile.

I played in a driveway lit by construction lights
for ten people and a keg of beer.

Once again, small, strange, but no complaints.

We had fun, we sang and danced, people
knew the words to songs that I forget sometimes.
(Old and Fat, Popsi, Family Tree)

Best of all, I got my crotch nuzzled by a
33 year old, 4 foot 7 spitfire named Becky.

She came onstage to smell my pocket
where my dank weed was, and ended up
snoodling my package for at least 3 seconds past
awkward.

Becky was only made cooler by her
tattoo of a stick figure pushing
a lawn mower just above her lady parts.

What a woman.
What a weekend.
What a country.

8/28/05
I’m moving to a new apartment.
So I don’t have internet for a while,
so I might be a bit slow on the updates.

I’d like to thank everyone a lot
from the bottom of my heart and balls
for coming to Martyrs on Friday.

It was really strange and wonderful to hear
everyone singing along, it made me feel
pretty good about moving forward with things.

It was sad without Pauly there,
but we sang How’s Your News
real somber-like in his honor.

CLICK HERE for Jeremy Witteveen's pics
from the Martyrs show

Here’s a video Jeremy and
Dustin made on our trip to Wisconsin,
it’s got a guy puking in it, and its pretty awesome.
Puke Video.mov

8/23/05

this is from the email I sent out:

I have some good news
and some bad news.

Good news is, things are getting back on track,
after some weird times and sad days, I've got my shit
together, relatively speaking.

Bad news is, Pauly and me are going our separate ways.
There is nothing but love between us, its just time to move on.

I'll be playing solo from now on.

I'll try to bring the rock to you, it just won't be as loud.

Maybe someday I'll put a band together again.
In the meantime, I'll be playing under the name Nice Peter,
because I have all these groovy stickers and posters left.

Thanks for stlcking with me, and listening, and reading these emails.

If you're in Chicago, I could really use your help at Martyrs this
Friday.
I'm playing solo, so the pressure's on kinda hard. I start at 11 pm,
Martyrs is at 3855 N Lincoln Ave.

8/22/05

I got stoned and held a baby today, very relaxing.

It’s amazing how things can seem so bad, and then start to seem so good
again. Nothing like a trip to Minneapolis to put everything under a
good light.

But before Minneapolis, there came an exciting stop in New Berlin,
Wisconsin, for a four hour set at the backwoods stylings of Calhoun
Station.

We got some great photos of Mike Cole dancing with some older ladies
with tight pants stretched across juicy behinds, they’ll be posted
soon. We also got an awesome video of their homie Jack puking
non-chelantly outside of the car, which was better than when he puked
inside the car all over the back of the driver’s head.

Jeremy Witteveen of R25 productions came along on this trip and kept
the camera rolling, we should have some sweet footage up soon.

In the meantime, please check out our new friends in Minneapolis, a
fucking sweet band called Root City. They have a dude named the
Heatbox, who beatboxes, and he’s white, and he’s awesome. The songs are
great, the guitar playing, singing, harmonies, keyboards, sax, and
drums all rock ass. RootCityBand.com, you’ll be seeing more of them
soon.

Much love to Leah and her crew, and all the cool people who came out to
the Fine Line, and all the new folks who bought CDs, I’ll be coming
back soon.

8/17/05
I almost quit a few days ago.
It was weird.

It felt like nothing was working
and playing wasn’t fun anymore.

This music shit
is really fucking hard.

I’m running furiously in place
until the carpet rips and my feet burn.

I started my job, that helped.

I spent the afternoon stuffing envelopes with the anual
sales report for the Yacht Club members,
and it was the best time I’ve had in weeks.

Just to be doing mindless, easy work,
with a clear start and end.

I passed the drug test, by the way, flying colors.
I bought a home test for myself,
tested my own pee to make sure I would pass,
and sure enough, the line was pink.

I took some videos of the home drug test,
but they’re kinda creepy so I haven’t posted them.

So I’m not going to quit, or give up, or whatever.
It’s stupid, and I’d be stupid to stop. But I do have
some serious re-planning to do. I need to sort my shit out
and learn from my mistakes and how to move forward.

I’m sorry for turning this “news” page into some sort of journal,
but maybe someone out there is reading and it’s nice to get some shit
off my chest.

I’m going to chill out on playing so many shows,
and I’m gonna stop the Goose Island thing altogether.
I’m sorry I flaked out on the Berkely Front show in Michigan,
it was a really rough week.

I might be playing some upcoming shows solo,
the band thing is kind of falling apart, I don’t know
if the three piece will survive the storm or what.

Pauly is trying to figure himself out,
and I’m doing the same,
and we still don’t have a permament drummer.

The August 26 show will be a band,
and it might be the last band show for a while,
and I don’t have a CD done so I can’t release anything.
a nd I’m sorry if I’m dissappointing anyone or playing
the same shit over and over, but, it’s hard, and I’m trying,
so bear with me.

Thanks for reading all this,
if you just did.

I hope you will enjoy this special
little MP3, just for you,
it’s a new song in honor of my drug test
experience, it’s called Smoke That Weed.MP3

Word.

8.9.05

So.
I got a job.
A good job.
Waiting tables at the Yacht Club here in chicago.

I say, “good”, because it gets a lot of money, which is really what I
need in a job right now.
I got hired on one condition, I need to pass a drug test.

Years ago, I was asked by an empoyer to piss in a cup and promptly
walked out, head held high, to go home and get stoned.

My current situation puts me in a weird place.
I’m poor, broke, flat empty.

What can I do?
I am too lazy from smoking pot to go out and find another job.

I am letting the man fuck me up the ass, just a little bit,
so I can take his money and buy drugs with it.

Today, I went to Igor’s Dungeon on Belmont Ave and purchased a product
called, “Xtreme Detox Drink” the salesman said it tastes like grape
diarrhea. 32 oz of grape fucking diarrhea.
Perhaps I was hasty.

Tonight I spent some time researching Xtreme Detox on the internet, and
it gets a bad rap from the potheads. Even Mike Kane said it made him
puke.

I am considering ordering a product called “Purine”, which is a
powdered urine kit.

That’s right, Mom, Dad, your son is spending his hard earned and
sometimes borrowed-from-you money on powdered urine. Since neither of
you smoke pot anymore, at least as far as I know, maybe you could save
me some bucks and Fed-Ex me some pee.

I’ll keep you posted as this develops.
-p

7.15.05

A few mentions.

First off, I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tonight, and
it was the worst fucking excuse for a movie ever made.
Terrible, shallow, vacant and thin.

The new Oompa Loompa songs were definitely the worst part, the old
people in the house were the only saving grace.

Second, me and Pauly will be checking out a new drummer for a few
upcoming shows. His name is Jason, he’s from Indiana, and he’s a nice
guy.

Third, and most exciting. We will be releasing a new studio CD at the
August 26 show in Chicago. It will be 5 to 10 all new songs,
tentatively titled, “New Songs, for the Love of God.”

7.8.05

Some of you have heard, some have not, our beloved Matt Donehoo is no
longer playing drums in Nice Peter. His talents have brought us a long
way, and he will be missed on the stage, in the van, and in our hearts.

Why...?

Why would Donehoo leave the band, or why would the band leave Donehoo?
Well, if we tried to explain, it wouldn’t make any sense, if we made
something up that was clever and funny, it wouldn’t do the situation
justice. We are on good terms, and there is love all around us.
We are auditioning a few drummers and looking for a replacement as soon
as possible.
In the meantime all shows will go on, in some form or another.
Nice Peter will be there to play the rock the roll.
Thanks for sticking with us.

6.19.05
Lot's to tell. First off, a homie named Chris is looking for a girl who
was wearing a Red Alabama Shirt and a skirt at the Nice Peter show at
Goose Island on Tuesday, June 14.

If you are her, or know her, he is very interested in meeting you,
perhaps you can arrange a date at another show, we return to Gosee
Island on Tuesday, June 28.

Chris can be reached at - troutman953@yahoo.com

6.13.05
We're back from Michigan, relatively in one piece. Pauly got lost, we
put a video of the hunt up on the movies page. Great time in Flint,
although hot as balls, Wade says he might have us back as early as
August, we'll post it as soon as we know.

This is a link to some pictures from the FLint show, taken by our
friend Rachel:

CLick Here for pictures

Scorekeepers, as always, was a drunken romp. Lot's of Jager-bombs, plus
Vodka, plus college dudes, plus lots of very pretty girls, plus Nice
Peter playing for 3 hours, plus the one and only "big black DJ" Reggie,
equals awesome party. We'll be back soon, Scorekeepers, we love you and
the money you give us, and the free drinks and food, and the pretty
girls and guys doped up on jager-bombs, and that gay dude who dances
real funny.

6.8.05
What a strange show at Goose Island last night. It really just isn't as
fun when the Cubs lose.
Here's a nice picture to cheer you up, some might remember it from a
few websites ago:
giantfunnyalfpenis.jpg

6.7.05
Pete returns from Rochester NY, from a visit with his grandma. who was
celebrating her 90th birthday. 90 years old, holy old.

You might remember Pete's granmda from the old video "Dancing Grandma",
if not, here it is:
Dancing Grandma.MOV

5.28.05
New song uploaded, Snufulupugus, as debuted at the Goose Island.
In other news, Pete searches LimeWire (a file sharing program) for
copies of Nice Peter song, just to see if they're floating around.
Typing "Nice Peter" into the search yields this as the most popular
file:

"Hot young Irish Wife gets ass fucked by a Polish neighboor while
husband watches.MPEG"

5.26.05
Nice Peter gets nominated for Grammy award. Doesn't Win.